Turning Down the Temperature: Defusing Tense Calls with Thoughtful Phrasing

Have you ever found yourself in a customer service call that suddenly took a turn for the worse? We've all been there, and it's not a pleasant experience for anyone involved. But what if I told you that there are specific phrases that can derail a call faster than anything else? After training over 2 million customer support professionals, I've seen firsthand what works and what doesn't. Today, I'm sharing three phrases you should never use on a customer call, and what to say instead to keep things smooth and professional.

 Prefer to watch? This three-minute video breaks it all down:

1. The Calm Down Conundrum

Let's start with a big one: telling a customer to calm down. It might seem like a natural response when emotions are running high, but here's the truth - it's like throwing gasoline on a fire.

Why it's a problem: Telling someone to calm down feels dismissive and controlling. It's essentially telling them their feelings aren't valid, which can escalate the situation faster than you can say "customer satisfaction."

What to say instead: "I want to help. Let's work together to find a solution."

This approach acknowledges their frustration without directly confronting it. It shows you're on their side and ready to take action, which can help regulate emotions naturally.

2. The Truth Tangle

Next up is a phrase that might seem innocent but can cause major issues: suggesting a customer isn't telling the truth.

Why it's a problem: Saying something like "That's not what I see on my end" puts people on the defensive immediately. It creates an "us vs. them" dynamic that's hard to recover from.

What to say instead: "Let me take another look to make sure I'm not missing anything."

This keeps the conversation open and tension-free. It shows you're willing to double-check and gives the benefit of the doubt, which can go a long way in building trust.

3. The Open-Ended Ending

Finally, let's talk about how we end calls. It might surprise you, but asking "Is there anything else?" isn't as helpful as you might think.

Why it's a problem: This question, while seemingly polite, often reopens the call, leads to rambling, or invites new complaints. It can undo all the good work you've done during the call.

What to say instead: Use presumptive closure, a psychology-backed technique that signals the call is complete. Try: "You're all set and we've taken care of everything you need today."

This approach wraps things up neatly and gives the customer confidence that their issues have been resolved.

The Power of Words in Customer Service

These changes might seem small, but they can have a big impact on your calls. By avoiding these common pitfalls, you're likely to:

• Protect your call handle time
• Prevent unnecessary escalations
• Improve overall customer satisfaction

Remember, effective communication in customer service isn't just about what you say - it's also about how you say it. By choosing your words carefully and focusing on collaborative, solution-oriented language, you can turn potentially difficult conversations into positive experiences for both you and your customers.

Putting It Into Practice

As you go about your day, try to be mindful of these phrases and their alternatives. It might feel a bit awkward at first, but with practice, these new approaches will become second nature. And don't be surprised if you start seeing a difference in how your calls go - smoother interactions, happier customers, and maybe even a boost in your own job satisfaction.

Customer service is all about connection, and by fine-tuning your communication, you're setting yourself up for success. So go ahead, give these techniques a try. Your customers (and your stress levels) will thank you.

Ready to Take Back Control of the Call?
If difficult, drawn-out customer calls are draining your team—or your energy—it's time to change that. In my LinkedIn Learning course, you'll get practical, psychology-backed strategies to guide conversations with confidence and ease.
Start the course today and learn how to take control—without sounding controlling.

Get customer calls resolved faster from Customer Service: Call Control Strategies by Myra Golden