From Defensive to Coachable: 3 Steps to Handle Workplace Feedback Like a Pro

We've all been there. Your heart starts racing, palms get sweaty, and you feel that knot in your stomach when someone says those dreaded words: "Do you mind if I give you some feedback?" It's a natural reaction, but it doesn't have to be this way. As customer service professionals, receiving feedback is an essential part of our growth and development. So, how can we transform this anxiety-inducing experience into an opportunity for improvement? Let's dive into three powerful strategies that will help you become more coachable without losing your cool.

1. Allow the Feedback to Land

The first step in becoming more receptive to feedback is simply allowing it to land. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything you hear, but it does mean giving the feedback a chance to be heard without immediately jumping to defend yourself.

Here's a little secret: most of us instinctively want to explain or defend ourselves when receiving feedback. It's human nature! But this knee-jerk reaction can prevent us from hearing valuable insights that could help us improve our performance.

Instead, try this approach:

• Pause: Take a moment before responding.
• Breathe: A deep breath can help calm your nerves and clear your mind.
• Reframe: Silently tell yourself, "This is data, not a declaration of my worth."

Remember, feedback is like the weather. You wouldn't argue with the rain, would you? You'd simply grab an umbrella and go about your day. The same principle applies here. Let the feedback land, and then decide how to use it.

2. Accept What's Useful

Once you've allowed the feedback to land, it's time to sift through it for valuable insights. Here's a crucial mindset shift: not every piece of feedback is entirely true, but every piece of feedback offers a clue about how others perceive you or your work.

Ask yourself, "What's useful here?" This question helps you focus on the constructive aspects of the feedback rather than getting caught up in defensive thoughts.

Let me share a personal example. Recently, after wrapping up a workshop for a professional sports team, a participant approached me with some feedback. My initial reaction? That familiar tightness in my chest. But I took a deep breath and listened. They pointed out that the bright yellow on my slides resembled a rival team's colors, which wasn't ideal given the upcoming game.

Now, I'm not about to change my brand colors completely, but this feedback provided a valuable insight: even small details like color choices can have an emotional impact, especially in high-loyalty environments like sports.

The lesson? When you're coachable, you don't take things personally. You take what's powerful and use it to your advantage.

3. Adopt What Aligns

Being coachable doesn't mean changing everything about yourself to please others. It means being intentional about your growth. This is where your power truly shines.

Take the insights that align with your values and goals, and put them into action. This might involve:

• Adjusting how you communicate with customers
• Improving your response to high-pressure situations
• Asking for specific examples to better understand the feedback

If the feedback doesn't seem to align with your experience or goals, don't be afraid to speak up - but do so with curiosity rather than defensiveness. Try saying something like, "That's interesting. Can we explore that more so I can understand the context?"

Remember, coachability isn't about compliance. It's about confident growth. The most successful customer service professionals aren't those who never make mistakes. They're the ones who are open to feedback and coaching, using it as a springboard for improvement.

Putting It All Together

The next time someone offers you feedback, remember these three steps:

1. Allow it to land: Pause, breathe, and let the feedback be heard.
2. Accept what's useful: Look for the valuable insights, even if you don't agree with everything.
3. Adopt what aligns: Implement the feedback that resonates with your goals and values.

By following this approach, you'll transform those anxiety-inducing feedback sessions into opportunities for growth and improvement. You'll become not just a better customer service professional, but a more confident and adaptable one too.

Remember, the goal isn't to be perfect. It's to be open to growth. So the next time someone asks, "Can I give you some feedback?" take a deep breath and say, "Absolutely. I'm all ears." Your future self will thank you for it.