Angry, desperate, and afraid customers are stuck in the right emotional brain. In the right brain, people are in their feelings, filtering everything through their emotions. When customers are angry, they can't access their logical left brain to calm down and listen to you. They simply don't have th...

The Problem

Telling a person to calm down never works. If your partner told you to calm down, would you? Exactly. That doesn't work with your customers, either.

To tell someone to calm down is to invite conflict. It's like you're pushing your customer into a corner or a seat. As humans, it is o...

Customer Support Professionals Who Rarely Escalate Calls to Their Supervisors Often Use 7 Phrases (without realizing it). 

When I prepare for my customized customer service and de-escalation workshops, I listen to a sample of phone calls. I specifically ask for calls from the best customer support ...

Working in customer service, especially in a live chat environment, you will encounter angry customers. These interactions can be challenging and emotionally draining. However, it's essential to remember that customers' anger does not reflect your worth; instead, it's a signal that something in thei...

No matter how much we wish we could, we can only sometimes resolve every customer's problem. We might not have the answers. Sometimes, we have trouble understanding what the customer wants. Communication can be a barrier. The great news is that we can significantly impact how our customers perceive ...

Good negotiators have mastered the skill of pacing others. They mirror the verbal expression or body language of the person they're talking to, and this pacing helps them create rapport and puts them in the best position to influence the outcome. 

You can use pacing to influence the outcome of inte...

A Subscriber (actually a few subscribers) asked me, “What do you do when you can’t give the customer what they want?” This video is my first answer to that critical question. I’ll share more tactics for what to say when you can’t give the customer what they want, but this video is enough to get you ...

When a customer is unhappy, how you respond can distinguish between a minor hiccup and a full-blown escalation. Here are five things you should avoid when dealing with upset customers.

One. Refusing to Admit the Customer’s Perspective

Never tell a customer they are wrong. If you tell a customer th...

I sourced my subscribers for the most pressing de-escalation questions. 

See my answers!

For more help with de-escalation, check out my De-escalation Academy.

Redirecting. "Here's what we know. Here's what we've done. Here's what's next."

Validating. "I can see your point on that," or "We want to get to the bottom of this as much as you do."

Explaining why you can't do what they want. "The FDA doesn't allow optometrists to refill expired contact lens pr...